Do Not Want.

Clearly, there has been some mistake... Saw this on the way into work this morning and while it's not my habit to call other drivers out on their selection of customizing choices, I'm baffled by this. Buying a Volkswagen Phaeton was a brave choice that showed a commitment to understated cool in the face of severe depreciation. It's an awesome car, much cooler than the Bentley Continental and Audi A8 with which it shares its platform. Most of them left the factory in black or white, simple colors that kept the car hidden in traffic. Honestly, even white or silver were too bold for the Phaeton, black was the way to go. And this one is... is... bronze!

The Longhorns stickers reveal all. This is the car of a UT graduate, and he's painted the car to remind himself how he got where he is. Thing is, in doing so, he's violated a sacred trust, that of the secondhand luxo-barge buyer. And honestly, who buys a Phaeton just to paint it an obnoxious color and put stickers all over it? Just wait until you can afford the offensively styled Audi instead, then go nuts.

Look, as gearheads, we're counting on Phaetons to come down in price and give access to a slice of German cool the likes of which we'd only be able to read about when new. What are we going to do if people start tarting them up to look like last weeks special at a Scion forecourt? We don't have many cars like this left now that BMW have ruined the 7-series for all time, and the S-class has become a nightmare of electrical problems. The only thing around that compares is the last Infinity Q45, and that car seems to be holding its value to a disturbing degree. Besides, it's Japanese, and thus, good as it is, it's not nearly the same thing.

So cut it out! After all, this isn't really your car, you're just holding onto it until a kid with an eye for cool and a pizza delivery job can gather up the tips to buy it from you and spend his weekends cruising in it with his friends instead of misusing it to commute to a real job. Don't ruin it for him!