Child Seat Laws, And Why I Hate Them.

When I was very young and the world was fresh and new, I thought the world didn’t have much of a place for children, if I’d only known then what I know now… Adults are very protective of the existence of children, and most of us think that we are looking out for the development of our kids as well. But I think that in some ways those two ideals are counter intuitive, and the more you try to keep a child safe, the less safe he’ll be when you’re not there. I know, by the way that this is hardly an earth shattering idea. I know that most of us have come to roughly this same conclusion, both as a child, and if we have children of our own, as an adult. What none of us count on is a politician backed by bureaucrats, for it is they who take a perfectly good idea like caring for our children, and turn it into law.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for laws protecting children; but society goes so far these days, both legally, and through the influence of special interest groups, that a child has nowhere to turn but to authority. Things that were Ok in my formative years and child endangerment now, while today’s parents must goggle in wonder at the fact that my parents both lived to produce me, such is the level of apparent incompetence on the parts of their mothers and fathers.

But let’s stay with things I know for sure. One of those things is that Cookie Monster does not exhibit addiction behavior, and if he does, it’s to cookies. He cannot be blamed for the obesity epidemic in the US, and he should not be forced to eat carrots. Carrots suck. I know also that kids should not be made to wear uniforms to school. I understand the authorities concerns over gang and other criminal related attire; I just think they have the responsibility to do their jobs.

My biggest pet peeve though, is the law in California requiring kids to be kept in those ridiculous car seats until they reach, what is it now, eighty pounds? I didn’t weigh eighty pounds until I was ten! If I’d had to ride around in one of those confining, embarrassing, kid carriers for that long I’d have missed out on quite a lot. Keep in mind this is me were talking about. When I was still very little, less than half the age kids have to be to get out of the plastic purgatory these days, I would ride around in the regular, adult sized seat of my parent’s cars. Sometimes in the front! I remember leaning down to play with the gear-lever gaiter on my dad’s Super Beetle, which I thought was the coolest car in the world at the time. It made a ton of noise and it really felt like it was moving quickly when my dad drove it.

The biggest treat though was in my mother’s Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser station wagon. It was blue, and yes, it had the wood-grain paneling down the side. This was not a fast car, and my mom was not a fast driver with me in the car (I’d later learn that she rather likes sports cars, but that’s another story.), but when I rode to nursery school in that car, my mom would let me sit on the bump. The bump, for those of you who don’t know (and that includes just about everyone) was an armrest that divided the front bench seat. When it was folded down there was a gap between the two seat-backs, but there was about an eight inch gain in altitude over sitting on the flat seat. From that height I could see out of the car, see the world go by. That I knew what my home town looked like was predominantly due to that bump.

My parents would put a seatbelt around me, and didn’t drive very fast with me up there. I’m not sure that made it any safer, but I am sure I’m still here, and that there were a million other ways I could have died as a child. I’m sure too that if a parent were to be caught today doing the same thing they’d be written, if not strung, up for it. If that parent happened to be a celebrity then it would take the tabloids years to stop roasting them. I realize that we live in a different world than the one of the 1970s, but is it really so much more dangerous? Do we have to do everything we can to keep kids safe? Because if that’s true we haven’t begun to scratch the surface of what’s necessary.

But I hope we don’t. I know that it’s sad when I child is hurt. I’ve thought so ever since I was a child. But I think it may turn out worse to have a race of people who never develop because the shelter we place around them turns into a prison. There’s just too much out there to miss out on while you’re sitting at home, not moving at all lest you lose the opportunity to do so the next day.